For the lack of a better term I am using “Mental Issue,” M.I. for short, as a blanket term to describe what we have and deal with on a daily basis. I want to use “Issue” because I don’t want to call it an “Illness.”

Illness, to me anyway, implies that it can be cured, it’s something that you caught and didn’t have before. It’s a part of us, it’s in our DNA, and it’s something we didn’t choose to have but something we live with on a daily basis.

When our M.I. kicks in it’s called “An Episode.” An Episode of what? Are we a sitcom or drama that people sit back and watch? While it may certainly feel this way for non M.I.s, for those of us going through said “episode” it feels more like a storm. Comes on with little to no warning. A lot of huffing and puffing, with loud crashes of thunder. For this reason I will refer to them as Storms and not “Episodes.”

By talking we can begin healing and understanding on both
sides. Ask questions and listen to the answers, don’t judge, don’t speak, just listen.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Just Leave Me Alone

There’s an internal struggle going on deep within each person living with a mental issue.  It’s so simple and basic yet so difficult to understand at times.  When a storm begins brewing these emotions grow deep and strong.

We want one to win out over the other but usually the one that does win is not the one we want.  Deep inside we are screaming which we want yet those screams rarely reach the surface.  We are left spiraling deeper into our own personal abyss.

We sabotage ourselves by saying we just want to be left alone.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  We are at our most vulnerable when we make this request.  We truly believe that if we are left alone no one can hurt us.  But we hurt ourselves more than anyone else ever could.

Like a static electricity charge, our emotions build up with each passing moment.  Just like when you touch something that charge is released, it’s the same when we have human contact.  A hand resting on our arm, sliding back and forth across our back, or even fingertips holding fingertips, this contact helps to discharge our build up.

A hug will often work best but sadly, we will shrug it off.  Do not take this personal, it’s not us but our demons lashing out, wanting to drag us down into that abyss deep within our soul.  We must do battle with this demon and no one else can do it for us.

It’s always easier to fight our demons with someone by our side rather than watching from a distance.  Never leave us alone, no matter how hard we roar.

For those who do not have these issues I know it seems so easy to say, “Stay,” but those words can not escape our lips, no matter how hard we try.  Just because we do not utter the word does not mean we want you to go away.  Never leave us alone.

No comments:

Post a Comment