I feel like I’m drowning. I can not breathe. I’m not really hungry. I have no real energy and I can not even steal energy from anyone. I feel dark and cold inside. I feel alone.
Try as I might I can not shake how I feel. I hate myself, not for how I feel but how it makes those around me feel. That hatred turns into anger and it’s directed at myself.
I feel like no one knows how I feel, even though I know that’s not true. If I was strong I could shake this but that’s just it, I’m not strong. I cry, I weep, I am dead weight.
Like any dead weight I bring those around me into my abyss. If I do not cut the tether that binds them to me I bring them a sentence of pain and suffering.
As I sink into the abyss my hand reaches out. The light grows dimmer the further down I fall deep into myself. Medication will not work on me, I have tried. It’s a death trap for my mind and soul. Numb by pills or by pain of my own torment, either way inside I am dead and gone.